Wednesday, May 30, 2012
I give up. He can't give me what I need anymore. I will never feel totally secure, never feel loved enough, never be able to fully trust and believe anything that he says. I am so tired of living in this constant game of second guessing myself, second guessing his actions and intentions. Constantly worrying about where his heart really is even though physically he may or may not be beside me. It's so tiring. It's so painful. I just can't take it anymore. This ends here. I officially give up.
blogged at11:51 PM
Saturday, May 19, 2012
My heart aches, everytime I force you. Everytime I force you to love me more. Not by your words, but through your actions. It never works, it always does the opposite and pushes you away. But what is a girl supposed to do? Just leave it be? But. It still hurts. Either way. How can I be with someone who doesn't love me as much?
blogged at5:44 AM
Always taken for granted. Because I'm around too much. Because I'll always be available the next day. Never treasured. Never worth the extra effort to spend time with. Just because. You think I'll be there tomorrow.
When it comes to the crunch time, who matters more? So what will happen when you wake up one day and realize I'm gone?
blogged at12:18 AM
Monday, May 14, 2012
Been so tired lately. My body is just running without my head. I need to sleep. But my mind won't let me. I'll think and think and think about it till the early mornings when I'll fall asleep. Then I'll wake a few hours later, thinking about it again. I thought of a new strategy though. I'll run myself to exhaustion every night just before I sleep. That'll work. But you know what's the best remedy for me? Peace. And security.
blogged at10:17 AM
I shouldn't have done it. Shouldn't have seen what I just saw. Now I just feel so mad again. So angry. At her. Who do you think you are? What kind of sacrifice do you think you actually made that could possibly be big enough to mend all these broken pieces, the broken trust, this broken relationship, this broken heart? I wish you could just disappear.
blogged at1:06 AM
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Miserable.
blogged at12:07 PM
Saturday, May 12, 2012
To have loved and lost is better than to never have loved before?
I'm not so sure about that.
Every day my soul is slowly fading.
blogged at10:12 PM
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Tonight is a dream. I wish we could just stay in this moment forever. I'm afraid of what each new day will hold. Each new day that will bring him away back to his own world, each new day that will draw him away from me again. Tonight is a dream, a sweet sweet dream.
Time, please stop at this moment. Take a mental picture. Keep it in my heart.
blogged at8:55 PM
This is a feeling of utter hurt pain humiliation to its core. Just knowing that he stopped loving me, and started to fall for someone else. It crushes me. It hurts so bad. I wonder if anyone knows how badly it hurts. It's not just that. It's the insecurity that I feel about myself. Comparing myself with her. How do I match up with her. Her nice bubbly cheerful personality that he raved about. My heart hurts so badly. It's broken. It really hurts so badly. All the sorrys in the world can't change a thing. I really feel so heartbroken. How do I ever trust him again? How can I? How can I trust him enough to leave him alone for one month while I study in Korea? Should I even take him back again? But I'm just that pathetic and that much of a loser. That I need him and I love him. But I don't know if I can ever trust that he will never break my heart this way again. My heart hurts so much.
:'-(
blogged at2:47 AM