Love is such a strong wordblogged at11:28 PM

University


If I could be really honest, I really hate university. I really hate the uneasiness that builds up in my chest everyday when I think about the looming deadlines for the countless projects and readings and tutorials and lab reports that I have to do. I really really hate everything, absolutely everything about school. But I can't. I don't allow myself to admit it. I'm supposed to be strong and trust God and rely on Him. I want to do so much for Him, so many things, but I don't know how much longer everything will hold. So many meetings so many events so many gatherings, I don't know how I'll be able to manage and where I can find the time to squeeze in all my studying and work. Yet ironically those are the highlights of my day, my little glimmer of hope that I look forward to. They are what pulls me through each day at school as I check the time on my watch every 10 minutes counting down till I get to see the most beautiful, wonderful group of people. Just being able to even sit quietly in their presence, just knowing I'm with them is enough. Being able to seek God and worhsip Him together with them all, my lovely family that I feel so comfortable with... just for that 2 hours or so each day, everything else fades away and it's just God and I, and them. Those moments are how I imagine heaven to be. Ironically enough, the things that get me through each day in school are actually making me struggle in school. But how can I say no? If I had to make a choice, I would be so willing to be a lowly waitress then to give up what I'm doing now. And somehow in the backest of my mind I'm just waiting for the day when everything will just fall apart and I get kicked out of uni and my parents will ban me from serving and I become a lonely, sorry loser. But I'm not willing to give up what I'm doing, not willing to pull back from everything. How can I give up my precious moments of each day??
Still there's something that holds me together, that gives me peace and joy to my inner soul, and here I am l living, still breathing, still smiling. You know what? I'm not strong. I'm the weakest of the weak. But my God gives me strength, and it is when I am weak that He is strong. So I know that I will never fail.blogged at11:37 PM

So many hopes and dreams :)blogged at4:03 PM

One day my time will come :)
Patiently waiting to be pleasantly surprised :)blogged at10:52 PM

Everyone needs a little love♥blogged at5:08 PM

L. T.


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